New Year’s resolutions are bull.
That’s what I thought because why would people make a list of changes on a random day of the year and hold them so high when they know that they will be broken during the first week. I refused to give in to any form of social pressure and never cared much for New Year anyway. I spent year after year going through the motions of a new year but it wasn’t until lately, after a series of experiences (you can read about them here and here) that I have been feeling that I can take life by the neck and carve my path. My journey of inner peace, focus and instability that led to me finding (or trying to) find myself came together same time last year, right before saying goodbye to 2018.
It happened by purely scrolling down and going through my posted photos of 2018 when I thought yeah, it was quite a year! and began to share them in the form of a yearly roundup. What I thought was a year of juggling a lot of work, painfully long hours, and trying to get rid of some of the burden really the start of me learning to say no, the start of guarding my inner balance in the face of toxic people. It contained many travels and experiences, new opportunities and lessons. A year that held that much for me in the form of positives and negatives had to mean something, right?
The next day I was off to the stationary aisle of my favorite supermarket to purchase a notebook. A yellow one because I couldn’t find pink or purple. In that notebook I started pouring my heart out, writing reflections on the year that has passed and what I wanted to accomplish in the next year, 2019. It wasn’t a list of resolutions; it wasn’t a test I had to pass by the end of the next year. They were my thoughts and dreams (or steps towards) that served as a guide to keep me on target, on a path that wasn’t going to be easy, to reach my goal(s). Throughout the year I never glanced at it, because to me the words were in my heart and I didn’t need to read them to remind myself to stay focused. Believe it or not I was focused, every damn day. There were days that were harder than others, but I practiced positive thinking as much as I could, and it helped me when I was feeling blue, overwhelmed or unmotivated.
For that reason, I have decided to do the same for 2020, I actually already did, jotting down over a dozen ideas that will hopefully see the light in this upcoming year further along the line. I opened my notebook for the first time in a year to find that many of the things I wished for, or rather, decided to learn and focus on, are things that I now have. Is it by manifestation, or by hard work or by praying? Perhaps it is by all of the above. What these “resolutions” are, I don’t believe in revealing them because they are for my self-growth and progress, but what I can tell you for sure is that if you only take a moment to look back on your year, on the pains and heartaches as well as the wonderful times, they can serve as the motivation we need in order to reach our goals and to see how far we have come!
On that note, I wish you all a Happy New Year!