Latest Posts

Musings Of An Introvert

I love to write down my thoughts but does anyone even read these types of blog posts? Well for those who do, here is what I want to say.

If ever you feel that I’m distant, don’t be offended, its just the way I am. I need to be alone most of the time and that’s ok. I never used to think it was ok, it’s very weird being different, but as I grew older and understood myself more, I realized that different is not necessarily bad. It took me a long while to find out what made me tick, and when I did, I didn’t run away from it, I owned it. Introversion isn’t shyness, it is merely the way some brains are wired, and instead of getting energy from other people, introverts search within to recharge their buttons.

Being a sensitive and a lone wolf child was no picnic. Even throughout my teen years and into early adulthood, the struggle was always there. While all my peers were busy making plans and socializing, I preferred to stay home with my random thoughts on the universe, my books, sketch pad, canvas and paint, old black and white movies, diary, classical music or my psychedelic rock.

You see, I never really needed company, I live a thousand lives in my head, I converse with myself, I find the answers in philosophy books. I could close myself in between four walls and watch TV and be involved in the characters’ lives, I could research topics of interest that would go on into the wee hours of the night.

As a kid I wasn’t that different, I would sit alone and write and illustrate novels. I would spend my entire summer reading books way beyond my years. One summer I read 100 books, I still dwell on those authors, their words, the words that shaped me. I still am a 5 year old at heart. I still do look in wonder as I see nature, the sky and stars.

I relish in my alone time, because without it I would go crazy, literally, insane. That being said, I am not a shy person, I speak my mind, I am not quiet, I can talk til eternity. What I do hate is small talk, I would take a long road instead of a shortcut if it means avoiding meaningless chitchat with someone I might bump in to. If we connect I can talk to you for hours and hide nothing. I have a tight circle of friends whom I love with every fiber of my being, who know and understand that when I’m angry I need my space, when I’m sad I cry, and when I’m in a bad mood I retire. Perhaps this is why I fluctuate and the way I am viewed by people who don’t know me as haughty, while in fact I’m not. That doesn’t mean I hate people, I do go out, frankly a lot. You can imagine how challenging attending events is for me, because again, small talk. But in spite of the efforts I make at being sociable, at the end of the day or week, I need my me time.

I am completely content with myself and I am truly at peace. For you see, this is my character, which I will not apologize for. This is my introversion. This is me.

dscn0982_wm

happy wheels 2

No Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest Tweets

  • stylememariaBikhsous the women "friends" who call you "babe" directly before they wanna yna2to samm 3leykoun. 🐍 about 20 hours ago
  • stylememariaMa ba2a 7ada ysefir economy? Sta7let shi story gher business class. Eh walla ana brouh cargo law biserle mhem ousal 3al destination. about 3 days ago
  • stylememariaEnough of that casper-like white facial mask that looks like a jellyfish on every beauty blogger's story. 👻 about 5 days ago
  • stylememariaIKR 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/YOalAtUM0d about 5 days ago
  • stylememariaRT @PattheyIssa: @stylememaria Remember the 2007-2008 "guess where will the next explosion occur" saga? Well it's "guess what's the next ja… about 5 days ago
  • stylememariaRT @PattheyIssa: Thank you so much Maria!! People living inside the bubble and thinking being sponsored is success, know nothing about the… about 5 days ago
  • stylememaria@PattheyIssa Amazing! It takes so much effort and consistency to get there, plus never losing faith in yourself 🙏 about 6 days ago
  • stylememariaSouth of France is the new Mykonos. about 6 days ago
  • stylememariaRT @PattheyIssa: @stylememaria There shouldn't be a contradiction between wanting to be beautiful/sexy (not cheap though lol) and being sma… about 7 days ago
  • stylememariaRT @raniamerchak: @stylememaria I understand the fruit craving when you are used to healthy eating and then eat crap for a couple of days.… about 7 days ago
  • stylememariaOne of my pet peeves is how people turn things into mainstream, so hard it starts sucking. Like when Casa was still… https://t.co/fSl0pacvaO about 7 days ago
  • stylememariaBIG talk for a hypocrite like you. about 10 days ago
  • stylememariaPeople who claim to crave almonds and fruits should get off their high horse and admit they force feed themselves t… https://t.co/YMHWsljTUc about 14 days ago
  • stylememariaPeople preach for empowering women to be someone beyond their looks, but sadly at the end of the day "sex sells" an… https://t.co/87YqnF6i7Z about 16 days ago
  • stylememariaRT @raniamerchak: @stylememaria Sometimes a simple post would suffice but they're extra 😂 about 16 days ago
  • stylememaria@BlogByPA Yes absolutely necessary, ma mna3rif nghassil wejna 🤣 I'm so mean 🙈🙈 about 16 days ago
  • stylememariaRT @BlogByPA: @stylememaria Skin Care Routine plz about 16 days ago
  • stylememaria@raniamerchak It's like, every product they receive, they promise us a tutorial. Teb ma badna 🤣 Enjoy your makeup in private about 16 days ago
  • stylememariaRT @raniamerchak: @stylememaria HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. about 16 days ago
  • stylememariaRT @raniamerchak: @BlogByPA @stylememaria 🤣🤣 about 16 days ago